My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
