Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
