Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
