question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She's the barista slut.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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