The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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