so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
