help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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