I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
