you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
