Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
