I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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