dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize