i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
