I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
