the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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