I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
