Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
