So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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