bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
