I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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