Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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