it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
