I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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