Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
