It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
soo... how was my night?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
