Just cropdusted the office
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
