yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
