I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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