When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
