The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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