It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
