just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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