so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
