Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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