Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
