Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
40s are totally the cure
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
