U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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