I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
