the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
