It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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