My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
