Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
