Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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