is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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