After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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