it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
