Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
