I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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