If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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