I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
