you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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