I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
