Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
