watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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